Monday, May 5, 2008

Getting through an issue without raising my voice

Sunday, May 4.  Hi all!  I hope you are all doing great and have had a nice day.  I had a great day, taught golf, had fun doing it, got some errands done, and had a nice dinner.

My new experience for the day was to get into a highly sensitive discussion about a personally charged topic, and react calmly and like an adult.  I worked through it and reached a mutually agreeable decision, and it felt good that it wasn't an argument that escalated.  The real new thing for me was not once raising my voice even though I felt like I wanted to and it's the way I usually get.  I get that from Dad I think.  I don't mean to, but raising my voice or yelling is a sign of defensiveness and fear, and I didn't do that tonight.  I'm pretty proud of that.

The other nice thing is that I didn't feel an overwhelming need to be right.  Usually, the need to be right and somehow feel superior is a strong impulse in me.  Tonight, I just stated my views, kept my voice down, and had a mature discussion.  No rightiousness at all.  And I'm very proud of that.  All signs that I'm maturing and going in the right direction.  In the end, it all points to letting things be and acceptance and not needing to win or be right.  Letting go is a very powerful thing.  Sometimes, maybe all the time, there is no need to be right.  A much more peaceful way to live.  Goodnight all, I hope you are all doing well and happy.  We'll talk tomorrow, same time, same place. 

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