There's a certain amount of denial that I'm experiencing right now. I really don't want to accept as a possibility that Paula and I won't be together again. I see it, but don't want to accept it even though it's probably pretty likely right now. My mind is crazy and won't be still. And I would like it to be still. Or at least stiller than it is.
I think I must cut back on or eliminate my communication with her for now. And maybe for good. It is tormenting me. And I'm not being too good to myself in my head.
As much as I'd like this to be fun, it's not today. I guess this is what we'll get from hearing about me everyday. Real life is not all fun and happiness, and if I'm going to write everyday, there will be some like this. And as much as the funny stuff gives this blog life, these entries I suppose also gives the blog life too, right?
I hurt a lot right now. It won't be forever. But right now I really hurt.
3 comments:
Hey whut's up bro ^o^
I'm pretty sure you surprised knowing who i am ^^. I'm Tor(Ju Go's son) your cousin.
I know we didnt have a chance to talk that much but after i heard from my mom about you having this blog so i think i would be one of a fan, cus i know how it feels about what's going on with your life right now and ever thought of doing something like this too but the difference is i wasnt as brave as you are...get up and do things you know.
You're doing just fine bro. Keep your head up!! Very good work on this blog, gonna be the best seller on the shelf this year HeHehee.
I've read all entries and will still coming back and put comments, peace.
PS. This probably is part from your 180thingsin180days and a lil bit disgusting but just for fun, I once tried to belch in different notes 555555. Take it easy, just try to cheer you up. -*-
Hey Tor! I know you and I haven't really talked that much, I appreciate the comment and feel the love man. Peace to you to brother! I think I'm doing ok, day by day for now. Some are better, some are worse. That's life, right?
I don't know how brave I am, but thanks and I'll keep my head up! You too!
P To
ps I don't know if I'll belch in different notes, but thanks for the suggestion. I hope to do some fun things too!
Hi Tom,
Been away for 2 days ... company"s excursion. This was something very new to me. Never in my life that I packedup and leave Charlie & the kids...it was always the other way around. Some weekend, I was just by myself. When talked to Charlie Saturday night, he was sort of complaining that he was left to guard the house. I said...it's ok honey...been there...done that....they'll all come home.
I hope your pain got better these past 2 days. I'm reading ... Eat Pray Love ... there's one thing I can suggest which I think I already did ... get out of your backyard.
I'm the regular visitor to your blog, keep writing...I want to read all...the ups & the downs. I'm also trying to write a journal...we'll see how I'll do.
Sending my hug & love ...
NaNa
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