Today was a low energy day. Woke up late. Actually I got up quite early, but went back to sleep because I just didn't feel like turning on my brain and knowing that all the thoughts that take a break at night would come back and flood my head. Taught a little and had dinner at Outback. Alone at the bar. It was good, but to be honest I had to go to the bathroom the whole time (yes, #2) so I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have. I ate alone again. I'm getting used to that, I guess.
Once home for the night (it's raining and getting colder, so I decided to stay in tonight), I watched American Idol and House, and realized that I hadn't done anything new today. After wondering exactly what I was going to do, I decided that I was going to smile for 1 hour. Straight. No matter how I felt.
Interesting because I thought it was going to tire me out, but it didn't. My face didn't cramp and I didn't get physically tired from it. I did have to focus quite a bit mentally because it seems that normal for me is NOT smiling. After the hour, I felt quite good and thought that I would try to extend it tomorrow and smile as much as possible, especially when in contact with others.
This experiment, like many things, reminded me of Paula, who always smiled her beautiful smile. I miss seeing it! It also made me realize that it in fact takes more energy to frown or not to smile. I likely use much more energy staying in the non-smiley state. That also explains why it is so exhausting to be depressed and sad. The lack of energy I feel often now feeds itself because it takes so much energy to feel sad. Hmm.
Even though this blog has not taken the crazy and fun direction it surely will yet, I am learning things as I go and think that it's giving me insight in different ways like I hoped it would! See you tomorrow!
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